My World
by Facade of Emotions
Summary: Yuki and Shu have another fight. i suck at writing summarys so just read and right. on hiatus! has been for years...i think...
1. Chapter 1

hi,

this is my first fan fic ever for anything, well to be typed and read by any one at least. i hope you enjoy it i woked really hard on it.

Gravitation: My World

Chapter 1: Foever

"I'm home Yuki," shouted Shindou Shuichi, a pink haired, violet eyed teenager, as he entered the appartment. Shuichi had been with the famous novelist, Eiri Yuki, for almost a year. Though they had been together that long Shuichi was troubled by Yuki's lack of openess to him. He knew that the seemingly heartless writer did love him, deep down inside somewhere, but had yet to let even Shuichi, his lover, see his softer side.

"Good! Now go away," Yuki replied. Which for Shuichi translated into 'leave me be I'm working.'

"Oh but Yuki I'm bored. Can't we do something fun," Shuichi begged.

"No, I've a deadline to meet and I can't have any distractions."

"Please Yuki. It's been forever since we went out somepalce. And any way you promised yesterday that if I left you alone you'd take me someplace fun," Shuichi cried.

"I lied. Now leave me be."

"But Yuki it's been a relly long time. And you should get out and have fun, you look so pale," Shuichi wined.

"So I've got a deadline and and I'm nowhere near finished. Go watch t.v. or something." With that Shuichi went to the kitchen for a snack.

'Yuki always has a deadline. He never has time for me,' Shuichi thought pouting. After his snack Shuichi remembered that Yuki hadn't had anything to eat since lunch so he fixed him a big mug of coffe and a sanwhich.

"Yuki," Shu said timidly.

"What," Yuki shouts exasperated. At Yuki's yell Shuichi jumps and accidently droped the mug which ended up landing on Yuki's Laptop. Yuki was ready to explode before then but that just tipped the scale. "That's it, I give! Do you ever shut up do you? Are you ever anything but a pain in my ass? Well I'm sick of it, all you ever do is wine and give me a headache and make messes and ruin my things, so just leave. Leave and never come back. Ever, and I mean EVER," Yuki shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Come in," Hiro called, but Shuichi just stood there going over what had happened.

_"Leave and never come back. Ever, and I mean EVER!" and with that Yuki went to their room and through everything that Shuichi owned into the biggest suitcase he could find._

Hiro walked to the door when no one opened it. "Shuichi," Hiro was stuned to find his best friend standing out side his door with a suitcase. "Come in. Are you alright dude," Hiro asked Shuichi as he looked his friend over. Then realizing that Shuichi wasn't going to walk in on his own Hiro picked up Shuichi's belongings and pulled his friend into the living room where he forced Shuichi to sit. Would you like something to drink," Hiro asked Shuichi. Shuichi only nodded.

"Hey who's that Hiro," Hiro's brother asked as Hiro wlked into the kitchen.

"It's Shuichi," he answered.

"Oh Yuki kicked him out?"

"Yeah that's the third time this week. But this time I think it's diffrent."

"why so."

"Because he has a suitcase this time," Hiro explained, "and because he looks so striken and heart broken."

"Oh," was all he got for an answer.

"Here you go. It's your favotite," Hiro said walking into the living room and sitting next to Shuichi. "It's all right Shu you can stay here tonight and go back to Yuki's in the morning." At that Shuichi began to cry again. "There, there. It's alright," Hiro said trying to comfort his friend.

"No it's not," Shuichi said when he got himself under control. "He kicked me out, but this time for good. He told me to leave and never come back. Hiro what do I do. I want to go back but he told me not to. He's kicked me out for good," and Shuichi began crying again.

It took an hour but Shuichi finally cried himself to sleep. "Man that must be rough," Hiro's brother said from the doorway.

"How long've you been there," Hiro asked.

"When he started to cry."

"Oh well. Hey bro, can you help me move him to the spare room, this couch is uncomfortable."

'Finally some peace and quiet,' Yuki thought as he sat back down. that's when the thought struck him. 'I just through him out and told him to never come back.' He began to worry.

'Oh but I've told him that before. He'll be back.'

'No he won't this time you sounded like you ment it,' said a small part of him, the part he rearlly listened to.

'Be quiet,' he told it, 'you don't know my Shuichi that well.'

'Yes I do. You're forgeting I'm part of you even if you won't listen to me,' said that small part again.

'I don't care he'll come back he always does.'

'But you through out his stuff as well.'

'So?'

'You've never done that before. He will have noticed this as well and he won't come back this time.'

"I need a beer," Yuki said out loud. "I think i've gone insane."

Shuichi woke up stiff and with a headache. 'Where am I,' he thought, then remembered what had happened last night. 'Why was he so mean' he thought as he began to cry.

"Hey you're awake," Hiro said from the door. Then he noticed Shuichi crying. "Come lets get some grub. K-san will be here if we end up late again," he said jokingly.

"I'm not hungry, and tell K-san that I'm sick," Shuich answered.

"Alright but do please eat something."

"It's almost eleven why isn't he here," Yuki asked out loud. He was standing in his (their?) three room appartmen waiting for Shuichi to come home after work.

'He's not coming back,' the nasty little voice said.

'Shut up. He will. K-san is just holding them late is all,' the excuse sounded pethict even to him (the part that belives Shuichi will come back).

'Admit it I'm right,' the nast voice said again.

'I said shut up," but this time he said it out loud. It was almost one when he realized that Shuichi wasn't coming back. "I need a drink," he said to himself again. He went to the kitchen and got a couple of beers. It was about six when he went to the bathroom to get his sleeping pills. 'I need to get some sleep tonight, tomarrow my editer will be here around seven.' And with that Yuki downed whatever was in the bottle without noticing what he was doing.

Shuichi woke up because the phone was ringing. 'Where's Hiro,' Shuichi wondered as he got up to answer it. "Hello," he said.

"Hello I would like to speak to Shindou-san"

"This is him," Shuichi said a bit timidly wondering what was wrong. He recognised that voice, it was Toma Seguchi.

"Good. Shindou-san please come to Tokyo Medical. I have some bad news," Toma's voice sounded strained.

"I..I'll be righ there," Shuichi said and hung up. "Hiro," he called then realized that it was saturday and Hiro was most likely at his perents house having lunch. 'Well it's either call a cab or walk.'

Half an hour later he arrived at the hospitol, he'd decided to take the bus. "Good you're here," Toma said. He looked tired and very stressed.

"You said you had bad news," Shuichi said timidly not knowing what to expect. He had never seen Toma Seguchi in such a state. His hair was unkempt, his eyes were dull and sunken in, his mouth was tinged with blue. Any one who had so much as met Toma would have never thought to see him like this. Another thing that Shuichi noticed was that Mika was there too. She looked to be in the same state as Toma.

i hope u enjoyed it as i said before i worked really hard on this. and I'm sorry for stoping it where i did but i believe that it builds up the anticpation for what's going to come in the next chapter. if there are n/e mistakes in this fan fic do please contact me so that i can fix them a.s.a.p.

thanx, sane 'n an insane world


	2. Chapter 2

hi again,

i'm hoping that if you're reading this then you enjoyed the last chapter and will enjoy this chapter. and please, please forgive me for taking so long to get this up. i've been so busy with other things i didn't have time to get on line and post this.

Gravitation: My World

Chapter 2: Bar

"You said that you had bad news for me," Shuichi repeated when Tohma didn't say any thing.

"Oh, yes," Tohma said warily. "It's about Yuki. I know what happened between you two but I thought you should know," Tomah paused trying to think of what to say next.

"What is it," Shuichi was now terrified to hear what was about to be said, but also anxious to know if something really bad had happened.

"Well there is no easy way to put it. Yuki was drunk and he had just finished his latest novel and he was taking his sleeping pills like he always does. And well he must have been either upset or extremely drunk because he took the entire bottle. The doctor says that we were lucky that Ms. Toki (Yuki's new editor) was there to pick it up or else Yuki might never wake up. Though the doctor is still unsure of weather or not he will wake up, he still has a 60 chance. And knowing Yuki as I do I'm almost positive that he will," Tohma added the last doing his best to sound cheerful.

"I...I...I see," Shuichi said trying not to cry. "Can we see him?"

"Yes the doctor said we could though he may be unconscious it will do him some good to have friends and family there incase he wakes up," Tohma answered.

"I...I...I'd to s...see him p...p...please," Shuichi said tears streaming down his face.

"Of course," and Tohma showed him into the room where Yuki was sleeping. When Shuichi sat down Tohma shut the door.

"Hi Yuki," Shuichi whispered even though he knew that Yuki couldn't hear him. "I'm sorry for bugging you, and being nothing but a headache. I wish that we were still together but I guess I would just be in the way. I'm staying with Hiro and I've decided to talk to Tohma to see if Bad Luck could go on a tour for a little while. I was hoping that perhaps after a bit of time apart we'll realize how we really feel about each other, and if after the tour we get back together I'll tell you all about it," with that Shuichi began to cry.

"Shuichi," Shuichi jumped at the sound of Yuki's voice. He looked up to see if Yuki had woken up. 'No his eyes are still closed he was probably dreaming or something,' he thought to himself.

"I'm done talking to him,' Shuichi said as he entered the waiting room.

"I call Nakano to come pick you up Shindou," Tohma said and entered the room where Yuki was. Hiro arrived about ten minutes later and drove Shuichi home with him. It was a quiet ride there only broken by the surrounding noises.

"Sorry about Yuki, Shu," Hiro said as they entered the apartment.

"It's ok. I mean it's not like we're even seeing each other now. I mean he is the one who through me out right? So why should I care what happens to him? He's the one who always hurts me, right? So why do I care so much," Shuichi said to no one in particular, and started to cry.

"It's ok Shu. He's going to be fine," Hiro said comforting his friend.

"No...it's...not," Shuichi said between sobs. "Tohma said that he may never wake up. And Yuki doesn't love me any more."

"Of course he does he must have been extremely upset to have taken all those pills."

"No. He doesn't love me he told me to never come back. Hiro he told me to leave forever. I've always been a headache for him and never given him any thing he wanted, like a night of peace and quiet," Shuichi said and got up. He went to the room that Hiro gave him to sleep in and began to think. 'I'll give Yuki what he wants. I'll leave forever.'

'Where am I' Yuki asked himself sitting up.

"Yuki! You're awake," some one cried, for a second Yuki thought it was Shuichi.

"Where am I Mika," Yuki asked his sister.

"You're in the hospital. Oh Yuki how could you do such a thing. You had us all worried. Over dosing on sleeping pills. You had every one worried. Even Tohma was in a state. Oh and poor Shuichi hasn't visited since Tohma called him to tell him what had happened. Hiroshi said that he hasn't come out of his room except to eat and got to the bathroom in nine days. Oh you had me soo worried," Mika was babbling. Then she became angry, "And how dare you make us so worried. And when you get out of that bed you are going to go see Shuichi to show him that you are ok, and then you are going to apologize for worrying him so much."

"Shuichi," Yuki murmured weakly.

"Did you say something," Mika asked.

"No. Nothing," Yuki replied.

"Ok. But as I was saying you are going to apologize to Tohma, and Tatsua for worrying them so much. Oh Yuki, you had us all so worried," Mika said before sobbing with relief that Yuki was ok.

Three days later

"What can I get for ya," the bartender asked Shuichi when he sat down.

"Something to numb pain," Shuichi replied.

"I got just the stuff. Captin Morgan, won't heal but numbs quite well." A glass of goldish-brown liquid was set into view.

"Thanks."

"No problem. You look like you need it. Been havin' a rough time or somethin'," the bartender asked.

"Yeah, you could say that," Shuichi said in a strained and tired voice.

"Hey wait a minuite," the bartender said out loud, but leaned in and wispered, "You're that singer Shindou aren't you?" Shuichi just nodded. "Well I heard about that writer Yuki, I know he's like your boyfriend or something, I'm sorry about that. I heard on the news he'll survive though," the bartender said in a questioning tone.

"Yeah he'll survive."

"Then why are you here? If I may ask."

"I'd rather not talk about it," Shu said dowing the glass.

"That bad hu? Oh well I see a lot of people come 'round here. They all had that same look in their eyes as you do right now," the bartender babled. "I'll tell you the same thing I tell them. It's better to talk about it rather than to hold it in, because to hold it in you olny make the pain you're feeling even worse."

"That's what my friend tells me all the time."

"Then your friend is a pretty wise person. Tell you what, if you like you can sit here all night and down all the boose you want, but my sugestion is to go see this Yuki fella' and talk things out with hm. I promise you you'll be felling better in no time," the bartender told him.

"But what if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if he just throws me out of the room? I wasn't exactly on his good side when this all happened' Shuichi said expresing his douts to the bartender.

"Then you will at least have tried, and then you would have a good reason to be here," the bartender turned and brought out a bottle of somthing. "And if you go and talk to him I'll let you have this on the house if you have to come back." After letting Shuichi get a good look at the bottle, it was Yegar, he continued, "this stuff numbs better than anything I have ever served here. So do we have a deal?"

"I...I," Shuichi stuttered as he thought. 'Well if Yuki doesn't talk to me I can come back and get drunk, but I don't know f I could stand it if Yuki didn't want to see me. I might die if Yuki doesn't want to be with me any more'. "Fine we have a deal...," Shuichi looked at the bartender questioningly.

"Fuji. Ayato Fuji," Fuji answered.

"We have a deal Ayato-san," Shuichi sad holing out his hand with a smile that looked like it hurt.

hope you enjoyed this chapter. please r&r i would really like to know if you liked my fan fic.

P.S.: if n/e one would be able to please give me a few good pointers as to how to write a better fan fic i would highly apreciate it.

thanx, sane n' an insane world


	3. Chapter 3

hi ppl. sry it took 4ever had a few isues i had to care of dr.'s wouldn't let me onthe comp. but imm back and better then ever... i think. ne way hope ur ready for more angst. luv ya'll jessica

Chapter 3 - The Kiss

Shuichi walked into the hospitol deeep in thought. _'What should i say? Will he even listen or will he just throw me out,'_ with theses thoughts he walked up to the recptionist. "Um... hi miss could you tell me in what room Uesugi Erie is staying in," Shuichi asked hoping he had guessed right in thinking that Thoma would use Erie's real name to through off the media.

"Lets see... Ah, yes hes in room 308," the receptionist said without looking up from her computer.

"Thanks," and with that Shuichi set out for room 308 to confront his love.

"Thoma, why the hell are you still here," Yuki asked angery that Thoma hadn't gone and left him to think in peace.

"Because I care about you Yuki. Unlike Shuichi who hasn't even come to visit," Thoma said knowing very well that Yuki would get mad but not caring. "I mean what kind of lover doesn't even come to visit you when you're in the hospitol."

"I through him out why should he come to see me," Yuki said temper rising even higher.

"Yes but you nearlly died. He hasn'teven called to see if you're alright," Thoma argued back. Looking away from Yuki to the door so he wouldn't have to look him in the eye while saying it, knowing that Shuichi had called him three times but only getting the voicemail, saw Shuichi coming and decided he had to act fast. Before Yuki could say any thing Thoma got up and walked to Yuki's side. "And why do you need him any more you have me for now and for ever," and Thoma swiftly planted a deep kiss on Yuki's lips.

Shuichi had just been about to open the door to Yuki's room when he saw Thoma lean down and kiss Yuki. At first he was shocked to see Thoma kissing Yuki but he became upset when he saw that Yuki wasn't pushing Thoma away, in fact it looked like he wasenjoying it even kissing Thoma back. With a strangles sound, that was a mix between an anguished cry and a heart wrenching scream, Shuichi ran from the hospitol as fast as his wobling legs would carry him.

Yuki when he had heard the sound cameout of his daze olny to see a pink head speeding away from his room. "Shuichi," he cried pushing Thoma away so he could rush after him.

Thoma however wasn't going to alow that. "Stop Yuki," he cried grabing him by the arm.

"Why," Yuki practically sreaced,"Why did you do that. You knew he was there but you still kissed me."

"Because he was in the way you still had feelings for him. Yuki can't you see you belong with me, we were ment to be and that brat only got in our way," Thoma said with an insanegrin on his face. "You're mine and I'm not going to let him get in my way."

"Thoma I hate you. You I never want to see you again. You're a manipulative psyco who needs to be lockedup," Yuki said not even trying to hide the disgust in his voice.

"You don't mean that Erie-chan. I know you don't you could never hate me you love me too much," Thoma said coming closer to Yuki spreading his arms wide. "You love me just as much as I love you. Stop denying it, my love."

Yuki backed away from the man he once lovedas a brother. The look in Thoma's eye was the look of a mad man. Reaching behind him Yuki found the panic button to call the nurse. Pressing it quickly and praying that help would come soon.

"Yuki, my love, come to me. Stop resisting and accept that you and I were ment to be," Thoma's tone had become angery as he watched Yuki back away.

"Thoma you need help.I have never and will never believe that you and I were ment to be. I hate you Thoma and I want you to leave right now," Yuki said stalling for time. It surprised him when Thoma lept at him.

Pinning him down with his body Thoma wraped his hands around Yuki's neck. "If can't have you, my love, then no one can," Thoma growled tightening his grip on Yuki's neck.

Yuki was beging to blackout when he felt the tight grip on his neck vanish. Focuing his eyes Yuki saw that the doctorshad arived and dragged Thoma off him. "Are you alright Erie-san," one of the nurses asked examining Yuki's neck. All Yuki could do was nod while gasping for are. Wondering where Shuichi had run to.

sry to end it there ppl but im outta ideas for now. hope you enjoyed it,iknow it's kinda short but hey im the author i can end it where ever i like : P ne way r&r.


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